The Best Books On Boundaries If You’re Having Some Trouble Setting Them

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Setting and maintaining boundaries is crucial for your well-being. They help define what’s acceptable in your interactions and protect all aspects of your health. Without clear limits, you may feel overwhelmed or even lose sight of your priorities. Thus, knowing how to establish these important boundaries can empower you to take control of your life.

Below are some of the best books on setting boundaries to help. The following recommendations cover numerous aspects of life such as personal relationships, mental health, and personal development. 

by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Amazon Rating: 4.7 Stars (20,000 Reviews)

Boundaries offers Christians Bible-based ideas to explore how setting limits can improve every aspect of your life—from personal relationships with friends, spouses and children to professional environments and relationships with co-workers. This book aims to helps with establishing clear physical, mental, emotional and spiritual boundaries. 

Christians, with a real love for God and people—who may be struggling to say “no” or often feeling overwhelmed by others’ demands—looking for clear guidance on how to regain control of their life by setting healthy, spiritual boundaries.

Buy this book on Amazon.

by Dr. Henry Cloud

Amazon Rating: 4.7 Stars (2,500 Reviews)

For anyone struggling to let go of unproductive relationships, jobs or commitments, learning to say “no” can free up time and have a positive impact on your productivity. Necessary Endings emphasizes the importance of recognizing when a relationship or situation is no longer serving you or your best interests. The powerful guide also gives practical advice on spotting signs that it may be time to end these connections and how to do so in a healthy and respectful way.

Anyone who suspects that certain connections and relationships, in both their personal and professional lives, have run their course.

Buy this book on Amazon.

by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Amazon Rating: 4.6 Stars (3,000 Reviews)

Dating is fun, but it can present many challenges. Establishing clear boundaries can help you navigate common pitfalls and ensure a happy relationship. Boundaries in Dating helps the reader to identify red flags and foster a healthy connection with their partner while making sure to pace the relationship correctly. Setting boundaries based on mutual respect is important, highlighting the need for conflict resolution that heals—rather than damages—your bond.

Couples at all stages—from those who want to start their new relationship off on the right foot to well-established ones who might feel they need help and advice in these areas.

Buy this book on Amazon.

by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Amazon Rating: 4.7 Stars (4,500 Reviews)

This book is a comprehensive guide to setting healthy, achievable boundaries within your marriage and promotes the important step of accepting responsibility. It provides practical advice for couples who want to establish limits that include respect and love. Boundaries in Marriage encourages honest and open communication to foster a strong and enduring relationship with your other half.

Married couples or those preparing for marriage who want to strengthen their relationship through better communication, respect and positive conflict management.

Buy this book on Amazon.

by Nedra Glover Tawwab

Amazon Rating: 4.8 Stars (10,000 Reviews)

Voted #1 Bestseller in Codependency

Nedra Glover Tawwab, a licensed therapist, uses Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) alongside simple but powerful techniques to help you find your voice and be assertive when speaking up for your needs. Set Boundaries, Find Peace reveals how to focus on your mental health and well-being, stop being codependent and find the strength to be unapologetically and authentically yourself—in both your personal life and the workplace. Tawwab offers advice on recognizing when someone is overstepping your boundaries and reasserting them respectfully and calmly.

Anyone struggling with setting limits—particularly those who experience stress, mental health problems, workplace burnout or difficulty saying no. 

Buy this book on Amazon.

by Melody Beattie

Amazon Rating: 4.7 Stars (18,000 Reviews)

Another book focusing on codependency, Codependent No More comes from best-selling author Melody Beattie. This guide aims to help people who have trouble prioritizing themselves and put everyone else’s needs above their own. Tendencies like people-pleasing and feeling responsible for others’ emotions contribute to unhealthy relationships. Beattie—through real-life experiences, exercises and self-tests—helps you break free from these habits and set boundaries that help yourself, not others. 

Anyone who prioritizes other people and their needs before their own at the expense of their well-being.

Buy this book on Amazon.

by Lysa TerKeurst

Amazon Rating: 4.8 Stars (4,000 Reviews)

Coming from a Christian standpoint, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes helps people who want to keep God at the forefront of their lives but get bogged down in the dynamics when setting boundaries. With effective use of the Scriptures, this book shows you how to react when someone tries to weaponize the Bible and insist you stay in an unhealthy relationship—whether it involves romance, friends or family. It gives practical advice on establishing these limits and recognizing when it’s time to say goodbye.

Christians who struggle with setting boundaries in their relationships while wanting to honor their faith and principles.

Buy this book on Amazon.

by Melissa Urban

Amazon Rating: 4.6 Stars (800 Reviews)

The Book of Boundaries equips readers with practical tools and strategies to set and maintain boundaries that not only protect their well-being but also improve their interactions in their personal, professional and romantic relationships. Urban uses over 130 different scripts, as well as real-life experiences, to keep the book unique, relatable and fresh. Covering areas related to self-care and creating a positive work-life balance, this guide is easy to read and put into action.

Anyone looking to improve their ability to set and maintain boundaries through practical tools and strategies.

Buy this book on Amazon.

by Lindsay C. Gibson

Amazon Rating: 4.8 Stars (20,000 Reviews)

In her New York Times bestselling book, Gibson explains how having emotionally immature parents as a child can lead to adult children experiencing long-lasting effects on their emotional development. For people struggling with self-esteem, setting boundaries and forming healthy relationships, this book promises that these wounds can be healed and outlines how you can move forward in a positive way. A key focus of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is to reclaim a sense of self—separate from the destructive influence of these types of parents.

Adults who recognize the relationship with their parents is toxic and need help and practical advice on how to set effective limits and break the cycle.

Buy this book on Amazon.

by Nedra Glover Tawwab

Amazon Rating: 4.8 Stars (1,000 Reviews)

Another book by licensed therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab, Drama Free focuses on creating a drama-free family environment where you can thrive. It helps with identifying the cause and source of the drama, setting and enforcing clear boundaries and dealing with family members and relatives who cross these. This read can help you prevent misunderstandings, reduce conflicts and protect your mental health.

People who struggle with establishing limits, and those who want a more peaceful and simple life.

Buy this book on Amazon.

A clinical psychologist, leadership consultant and bestselling author, Cloud co-authored Boundaries with Dr. John Townsend, providing practical advice on setting limits in both private and professional life. His other notable works, such as Necessary Endings, Boundaries in Dating and Boundaries in Marriage, focus on maintaining healthy relationships through effective boundary-setting.

A licensed therapist, speaker and bestselling author who specializes in relationships and mental health, Tawwab wrote Set Boundaries, Find Peace and Drama Free. These works offer practical, therapist-grounded advice on establishing actionable boundaries that improve mental health while creating healthier relationships. She has also produced workbooks with practical exercises for daily life.

Beattie is a leading author renowned for her work in the field of addiction and recovery. She is the best-selling author of numerous books, including Codependent No More, Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, More Language of Letting Go, and 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact. These are key resources for understanding and overcoming codependent behaviors by setting boundaries—helping readers reclaim their lives by prioritizing their own needs. In her book The Language of Letting Go, she provides daily inspiration via meditations and reflections.

Urban is a health and wellness expert, co-founder of the Whole30 program and advocate for establishing boundaries in all areas of life. The Book of Boundaries provides practical strategies, including scripts and personal experiences to help with setting personal, professional and relational limits effectively.

Christian author TerKeurst—speaker and president of Proverbs 31 Ministries—is known for her faith-based approach to personal development. She integrates faith into boundary-setting with Good Boundaries and Goodbyes helping readers protect their emotional and spiritual well-being within relationships.

These authors offer a range of perspectives and tools to help you establish and maintain the right limits across all areas of your life. Books like these highlight the importance of boundaries for personal growth and improvement. Reading and applying the practical advice and suggestions found in these works can greatly benefit your mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. Continuing to seek help and guidance from books on boundaries like the ones listed in this roundup can ensure lasting happiness in both your personal and professional life.

Three major categories of personal boundaries include: emotional, where you want to protect your emotional well-being, including your mental health; physical, protecting your physical space; and sexual, based on protecting your needs and safety sexually.

Determine your top priorities in work and life. What are the one or two things you are trying to get out of your personal life and your professional life? Test out some soft boundaries to get some practice before moving on to harder ones. Last, but by no means, least: Commit.

Identify your priorities and start small. Work on communicating your limits to people you feel comfortable with, remembering to consider different types of boundaries. Listen to your gut and put your foot down when necessary. You and your needs come first.

Photo courtesy Linaimages/Shutterstock.com

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